Bedpost Confessions is my new jam

“I had long been curious to wear women’s underwear… The advantage of wearing the opposite gender’s undergarments within a partnership is that you don’t have to buy them. But with no one to borrow them from I trekked to the mall and paid a visit to Victoria’s Secret. Public speaking does not intimidate me nearly as much as shopping for myself in a Victoria’s Secret… I wanted a thong and I wanted it skimpy.

Wearing the thing itself was not quite what I expected. I became aware that any sort of erection would give myself a wedgie.”

~ Episode 93

Now here’s where I have to own up to a rather staggering incidence of naiveté, given that a) I’m 46, b) I basically live on the Internet and c) my most consumed media is podcasts. You see, for some reason it had never occurred to me that there might  be podcasts about sex. I kn0w – sex on the Internet, who would have thought, right?

It all came out because we were talking about relationships. I’m very interested in the social sciences so rather than Google why it is that some people appear to attract more crazies on dating apps than statistics have laid down for our guidance, I decided I would see if there were any good podcasts that discussed  the psychology of relationships and similar matters (also I had another eight hour commute and two nights on my own in a hotel to while away).

Maybe it’s because I spend so long listening to podcasts about true crimes, unsolved mysteries and people watching TV shows that went off the air years ago, but it just never occurred to me that there would now be a whole raft of podcasts about relationships, dating, sex and sexuality.

I work in an industry where we talk about stories all the time (I book guests for Jackanory). So I think I naturally gravitated towards those podcasts that were based around telling stories rather than the Q&A format that many seemed to take. And there was something in the description of one particular podcast that I imagine resonated with the roughly 50% of the population who were at one time or another a teenage boy: “In lieu of sex with another, Jacob Dodson works concertedly to spice up his masturbatory life for the first time since puberty.” It’s a quote from him that opens this post.

I hadn’t come across Bedpost Confessions before and if you haven’t either, here they are in their own words:

The format is simple: a guest speaker, bookended by anonymous submissions by members of the audience read out loud (the images in this post are confessions taken from the site). I’ve binged on quite a few episodes now and there’s a real mix, from the poignant and heartbreaking to the downright filthy. And the occasional odd one:

“I confess: I once got a Viagra stuck up my nose.”

~Episode 32

All of the guest speakers have been hilarious. When I listened to my first episode, Jacob Dodson’s, I was sat on my own in a 1950’s style diner in Brighton and I had to cover my mouth and hide my face because I was laughing so hard inside and trying not to do it out loud. When I listened to episode 77, I was shopping for bird food in Wilko’s and had to turn it off until I got outside, because I didn’t think I could control myself:

“So we’re at his house ten minutes, he starts kissing me. Backs me into a door, pins my arm up, kisses my ears, kisses my neck, biting my lip, pulling my hair… he’s doing everything right until he goes to put his hand up my shirt and all of a sudden here comes that fucking self-doubt again. ‘You haven’t shaved, you have on an ugly bra, bitch these panties have a hole in them, you have that weird bump on your left tit.’ So, in the middle of this hot make-out session with this tattooed cutie I abruptly stop and say I have to go. When he asks why the only thing I can think of to say is, cos I gotta take a shit.”

~Episode 77

The show describes itself as smart, sexy and funny. It leaves out thought-provoking, endearing, energetic, dramatic, poignant, informative, imaginative, vital, relevant, modern, open, attention-grabbing, eye-opening… I could go on. Some of the stories are laugh out loud funny for the whole duration, but some of them are just old-fashioned, hold your breath to the end stories about the ways that humans interact – and, occasionally, fail to interact.

Yes, obviously a lot of it is about sex (it’s not just sex, a lot of it is about relationships and psychology and The Bangles’ “Eternal Flame” and imaginative uses for household objects) and accordingly the language can be somewhat salty, but the show never feels sordid. It’s too honest, too vital, to conjure up images of men in dirty raincoats and top shelf magazines.

The next episode will be the show’s 100th and you can catch all of them on the website’s archive page at: https://bedpostconfessions.com/podcast. The show has already branched out into crossovers and different formats, and there’s a physical and Kindle book available at Amazon. All in all, the show is very much worth spending your time on. Thoroughly recommended.

Links

 

Gallery of confessions from the website

These are just some of the ones that caught my eye but there’s more on the website. Click on an image to expand it.

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